Mirtazapine
Dreams
By
Dotz and DJ
Goblin
It was in 2016 that I first got my taste of Dotz with the
release of his Bring The Soul Back EP which featured Blak Twang, Tony D,
Wordshiff Flip, Blizzard, Skrabl, Peterz and Jabbathakut, which I managed to
grab a signed copy of at the time. But he has been active on the UK scene since
2012, releasing a number of solo and group projects which includes the
Phili’N’Dotz album alongside Si Phili of Phi Life Cypher. Alongside tours of
the UK and Europe and collabs with the likes of Chester P and Klashnekoff, he
is also a seasoned veteran of rap battles and a freestyle champion.
Following a few years away from the scene, Dotz returned at
the end of 2022 releasing a string of singles and two solo albums. Mirtazapine
Dream is his second release of 2024.
There are a couple of versions of this album and the one
I’ll be reviewing here is the Deluxe Edition, this has an extra six tracks over
the standard version which give you all the tracks originally recorded for the
album. The concept behind the album is that one of the side effects of the drug
Mirtazapine is that it can give you very vivid and intense dark dreams; it was
through his own personal experience of this that Dotz got the idea for album,
that and the beats provided by Goblin which also served to further reflect the
vibe of those dreams.
Now you have some idea of what to expect, let me walk you
through the album from top to bottom…
It all begins with Information For The User where
percussion, keys and xylophone notes come together to create this sense of
being in a half awake and drowsy mind state. As you are carried along on this mind-numbing
ride you are treated to the information about the drug Mirtazapine, its uses
and side effects but, the vocals are also given this twisted sound that matches
that drowsy, drug induced state of mind. We join our protagonist staring at The
Ceiling, as the drug begins to take a hold on his reality. The beat is
heavy but doesn’t have blistering pace, while the ticking cymbals tweak your
nerves and everything else seems to lose cohesion as does the mind. There is no
sugar coating the facts here as the daydreams haunt his every waking moment and
he seeks to separate himself from the world around, where possible, as he
clings to every aspect of the real world. The beat switches up bringing a
straight up banger on Charlie Sheen. The xylophone and guitar notes add
an extra edge which seems to bring a moment of clarity from the haze of the
drug. Here find Dotz going all in and pulling no punches as he details the
struggles with drugs and getting clean, just like the actor Charlie Sheen.
A pounding beat and eerie background notes that seems to
include wooden xylophone, once more grabs your awareness and twists it for the Twelve
Steps. This one continues the struggles of going through rehab and the
realisations that come with that as you look back at your past and the person
you once were, and now struggle to keep from your door. Ten Four hits
with another heavy drumbeat, pounding your awareness while background vocal
samples and percussion begin to stretch your understanding of reality. Here we
take a look at the protagonist from the outside as he tries to claw his way
back from the brink, all the while he wonders if his calls for help are falling
on deaf ears, as he wonders if it is all really worth it. Everything in
Sight hits with a heavy sound of drums, keys, vocal samples and more,
making you feel like your brain is about to explode from your skull. As the
world around him closes in the protagonist relapses in extreme style, seeking
to burn down all that is around him as he tries to shut out the noise.
Guitars and proper heavy beat combine to raise your
adrenaline levels on Red Rooms. This one takes you deep into the murky
world of the dark web. Here we find ourselves immersed in a places where
anything that is illegal takes place as the norm, where anything can be brought
or sold and nothing is off the table. The pounding drums fall slightly to the
back as heavy eerie piano vibes take the forefront. This brings the kinda sound
that has you looking over your shoulder, constantly with Haunted. Here
we find the protagonist struggling with all he has done, haunted by the ghosts
of those he has crossed paths with and the situations he has found himself in
but, can he truly trust all that he sees and feels? Souvenirs brings another
look from the outside in with a sound that is a mix of drums, keys and bass
vibes with little accents that tease your mind. Here we follow a serial killer,
his acts and the souvenirs he gathers as a result. Is this person out
protagonist or is this just another disturbing dream?
The Dark Passenger (Interlude) brings us a short
musing over an electronic sounding vibe that carries us along as we listen to
the words through what appears to be a drug fuelled haze. Those words seem to
have a deep impact as you feel for him and wonder just where this is heading. But
those thoughts are blasted from your mind as the pounding drums, keys and
strings of Raise Your Guns burst forth. This is a no holds barred look
at what is going on around the world as wars ravage the innocent as those in a
place a power seeks to stir up hatred and take land from others. Land they say
is theirs, when in truth, it belongs to no one, and one day the innocent will
raise up and say no more. Walk The Plank is the first track to feature
DJ TMB on the cut and brings us a solid beat that is joined by these sounds
that twist your mind this way and that. Our protagonist’s mind is seemingly
spinning out of control as his grip on reality appears to further slip away
but, as we already know, the drug creates these strange dreams and this is just
one of them, right?
I Don’t Wanna Talk About It brings more
nerve-jangling electronic elements to proceedings over the drumbeat. This gives
you the vibe that something is being help back, almost like there is this
uncomfortable feeling about certain things. As you listen you get the feeling
this is another moment of clarity, to a point but, here there is a realisation
of not being comfortable in his own body, and with that comes a desire to not
open up and not be completely honest because it’s too painful. The beat hits
hard on When It Rains It Pours, with guitar vibes, this one has a more
thoughtful or reflective edge to it. Here you get the sense that the clarity
continues as Dotz muses over recovery and building up all that the hard time
tore down, while recognising that there is still a voice that craves the solace
of the drugs but, here and now the strength to rebuild is stronger. DJ TMB
features once more on Otis Driftwood. The sound here has that proper
drumbeat mixed with piano notes and other elements creating a sound that
anchors you back in reality. Well, at least that’s how it seams at first. The
track features elements from The Devils Rejects etc, where the character of
Otis comes from, this gives the track takes us back to the disturbing dream
aspect of mirtazapine once more as it interacts with the reality of life.
Nothin’ Here’s Free brings a more boom bap feel to
the proceedings but still has an eerie electronic vibe to it too, making you
wonder what reality you are currently in. This one is a gritty look at the fact
that as we go through life, the one thing we can’t escape from is the fact that
nothing is truly free, Beit our existence or our survival, the only time we
will be truly free is in death. A sobering thought that stays will you until
Subplots bursts into your ears, with its pounding beat, electronic elements
and DJ TMB’s razor sharp cuts. as you nod your head to this Dotz assaults your
ears with the realisation that everything is not what it seems? Just when you
think you have nailed what this is all about there are more subplots to that
you in another direction as he constantly keeps you guessing from line to line
and bar to bar. Nerve jangling piano draws you in before the heavy beats drops
for Screaming In My Sleep. This one is deeply personal expose of what
this mirtazapine dreams can do as Dotz opens up on some of the things that he
sees beyond the veil of sleep while his wife tells him that her reality is to
hear him screaming in his sleep…
A pounding drum beat with double bass and a nerve tweaking
electronic note repeating is the basis for Bon Nuit (French for Good
Night). This sound makes you wonder what the connection is with a good night sleep.
The more you listen, you realise that mirtazapine dreaming rarely gives a good night’s
sleep. It’s almost like, saying those words elicits a fear response because you
don’t know what the night will bring when you close your eyes. The pounding
beat of Straight Down Hill is backed by more of these nerve and mind
twisting elements that can’t help but, draw you through the track. This one is
a no nonsense at the how the standard healthcare model is to use drugs to
control and suppress the struggles that so many of us face day to day. It is
worth more than investigating the root cause because big pharma makes those
drugs a big investment for GP’s etc, where as counselling does not make money but
drains it. So, it is easier to get you to pop another pill. We move into the
penultimate track of the album with The Chase. The head nod drumbeat is
flanked by bass and nervous keys which create this sound that gets your head
nodding while systematically shredding your nerves, to a point. This one mixes
the dark dreams with thoughts on his music, where you begin to wonder where the
line is between the two. Here though, its all about the chase, whether it comes
within the dream or back in reality, chasing your dreams and reaching the top.
The final track of this mammoth Deluxe Edition is Mr Misfit and Dotz and
DJ Goblin go out on a high with this upbeat sound that mixes a dope beat with
piano elements and more creating an infectious sound you want more of. The
upbeat nature of the sound appears to be in contrast to Dotz Lyrics which see
his dreams trying to seep into real life like some nightmare on elm street
type thing. Its all no punches pulled and in your face style but, remember its
all just a mirtazapine dreaming story, right…
What becomes apparent after listening to this album is that
this is one hell of a rollercoaster ride through a reality that encapsulates
many strange and deeply disturbing experiences that seem to be uncontrollable
once your eyes are shut. But also, there are times when that sense of a
distorted reality drifts into the real world, which must be troubling, in
itself. But what better way to express what that is like than by bringing those
lived experiences into musical form, thus expressing the true nature of what it
is like to experience Mirtazapine Dreams. I can imagine this being quite a
cathartic thing to do, and something that must help release the troubling
nature of experiencing these dreams night after night.
All that aside, one thing that Mirtazapine Dreams
does do is to perfectly display the quality of what Dotz and DJ Goblin are
capable of together. There are no guest artists on the album, except for DJ TMB
on the cut, and no guest production either. This is simply one emcee and one
producer doing their thing and doing it superbly well I might add.
Dotz brings his years of experience to bear on this one, and
not just his years of musical experience either. He brings first hand knowledge
of what it is to experience and live with this and this adds authenticity to
the whole project. His wordplay is inventive and crafted in such a way as to
keep everything flowing. His delivery on this one has a raw edge that is
tinged, at times, with displays of a wide range of emotions, something you can
only get when you have truly lived through something.
Alongside Dotz, DJ Goblin brings production that perfectly
mirrors the essence of what it must be to experience these Mirtazapine Dreams.
The sound is rooted in that Boom Bap Hip Hop sound but, there is this dark
element that reflects the way dreams can be experienced what that does to that
person on a physical and emotional level. I mean, what else do you need to say
here.
Overall, this is an album that may not appeal to everyone
due to its stark reality and the fact that there are only the briefest of
glimpses at any kind of solace. But this is an album that is aimed at bringing
a focus and shining a light on what it is to experience the side effects of a
drug that is administered to combat the effects of such things as depression.
Yes, this is an enjoyable album and one that you really need to listen to but,
more than that this is a reality that many people experience on a daily basis
as they try deal with their own mental health. I understand this as I spent
many years on different anti-depressants with different levels of side effects.
So, I commend Dotz for having the strength to use his own lived experience to
bring this into the light.
The Deluxe Edition of Mirtazapine Dreams is available
now on streaming and there are also physical copies of Mirtazapine Dreams
available too.
Think I need a break after that,
I’ll see ya next time.
Peace,
Steve.
LINKS
Grab your copy from Bandcamp Here:
https://dotzilla.bandcamp.com/album/mirtazapine-dreams-deluxe-edition
Your one link for Dotz Music:
https://linktr.ee/officialdotz
Dotz Socials:
https://www.instagram.com/officialdotz/
https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100004574954574
Your one link for all things DJ Goblin:
VIDEOS
Haunted
I Don't Wanna Talk About It
The Chase
Twelve Steps
Charlie Sheen
